David has put me in such good light that I felt I need to confess and give glory to God for any good thing that I have done. I was not exactly the "saint" he had described. I am just a sinner saved by grace who is learning to trust in the Lord to meet all our needs. In fact, I should have done much more than what I am doing - which is hardly anything. The nurses and doctors in SGH would have agreed with me he is very much a DIY (do it yourself) person, not wanting to bother others too much. Always so considerate and thoughtful. I hardly need to help him to his medicine or packing/unpacking his bag for hospitalization or planning his menu. This care giver - me, hardly provided much care except praying and trusting God and trying not to nag and be a good mother to Josh. If I had done anything right, it is the grace of God and the guidance of His Holy Spirit. I really cannot claim any credit at all and so all glory goes to our wonderful Lord Jesus, our God and Father!
And, he was not the "monster" he claimed to be at all. For all he is going through, I am amazed he hardly ventilated on me. Of course, there were frustrating moments when expectations were not managed properly, I sometimes felt really sad I could not share all his sufferings and feelings of loneliness he must have felt at times in battling the illness. I guess it is an experience only those who have suffered could better comprehen. But I take comfort in knowing he is never alone and that what people cannot do for him, our Lord Jesus can!
Oh ya, I think I forgot to mention the card I received was personally made by my beloved husband. How not to be touched right? It helps when he has this creative knack in making beautiful cards.
Regarding the dog, other than being afraid of its overly friendly disposition, the licking and the possible scratching (it actually scratched Josh's face leaving a long red mark on his face which took a while to disappear and Josh explained it off saying it was his fault for getting too close to the beagle, not hers!), it is also the hygiene problem that I was concerned with. I pained my heart too to see Josh being so sad but I prayed for wisdom and I stood firm with my decision that the dog has to go. I explained to Josh I had this fear of dogs and he immediately prayed for God to take away the fear. I assured him God will when the time is right.
Yesterday, David had his 4th dose of Velcade. He was not feeling too well last night, had mild fever at 37.5 but blood pressure was ok. He also had slight headache this morning. Called him just now, he said feeling better already but still very tired. Please continue to pray that his health be restored completely and also for excellent MRI result.
Heartfelt thanks,
Whee Ling
