Dear all,
I was surprised that Whee Ling shared about the card. I am not that romantic sort, but I think she has done so much for me. In this walk thru the valley of the shadow of death together as a family, she has sufffered much as a caregiver too. If only you know how this monster has ventilated much of my pain and misery on her, you will see the strength and inner beauty that this godly woman has! So much so, that I've stopped nagging about petty things at home like when she forgets to off the lights when not in use most of the time!!!
Guess I value the relationship more than the lights. I must say that when I stopped nagging, she has also improved tremenduosly! So the little card was just to appreciate her for going through so much with me. She wasn't bitter, she made me better!
I shared with josh about the card. Jokeingly I said,'that's the way to handle the woman in your life'. He laughed! And said, 'ya lor'. Must start young!
The other day, Josh was soooooooo sad and cried very badly when mummy refused to let him keep a beagle that someone wanted to give away recently. We had her for several hours and Josh loved it so much. His wish was shattered when mummy returned. It was too big for her. So, we returned it and Josh greived for many days and eventually got over it after a good closure by visiting it for couple of days to bid goodbye. Innocently he commented,"next time I must marry a wife who loves dogs!".
That started me thinking. There are many differences in my marriage. After a while, the differences attack instesd of attract. It can be depressing at times when you don't share similar interests and look at things with likemindedness. but at the end of the day, when one is down with cancer, the way we look at things will change. David look at God instead of Goliath when faced with such a 8-foot tall giant. He looked at Goliath from God's perspective.
Whee Ling has been through much with me in this valley. We've walked through the sadness, difficulties and moments of darkness in this journey. She can choose to leave but chose to walk together in sickness or in health. I think I owe her too much. The little card was not enough to repay her for what she's done for me in loving me. It was not sent to manipulate her, but to make her the greatest person and soul-mate that God has given in my life! Loving dogs does not mean I love her lesser. And whether she likes dogs or not doesn't matter anymore- maybe a smaller breed still can lah for Joshua's sake! Most importantly, Josh knows that he will marry a girl loves her husband like his mummy who loves his daddy.
Thank you for following our journey as we journal. We are putting our journals in a book that will be co-authored by an old church friend.His name is Thomas Chong, from Bethesda Katong Church. It was he who sparked me to put our journey into a book to identify with those walking thru different valleys in their and to inspire, impact and influence each reader to look to the sovereign maker of our lives.Thus , we covet your prayers for us to tie the pieces together to magnify the Lord in this. Hopefully, it should be out by early December.
I am wriiting from home at this very moment. Was discharged yesterday as Whee Ling has mentioned.Understand her concerns but I am fine by God's grace. Compared to the last 2 cycles of Velcade/chemo given, my tolerance to the drug so far has been much better. I had fever, severe malaise; ulcers and peripheral neuropathy where my extremities(toes and fingers)went numb with occasional cramps. It is much lesser this time and is bearable, though with increasing doses (so far 3 in this 3rd cycle), I get very tired. A prodromal flu was coming 2 days ago but with much rest it seems to be disappearing. I have been sleeping a lot but it helps. Am also very glad to be home-there's nowhere like home where you can smell your own pillow!! And see your loved ones!
Once again, we Appreciate all your sms-es, calls, emails and visits by close friends at the hospital.
Through these 2 years, God has revealed so much of His goodness in our lives that we've often failed to see. These 2 years had been one of the worst years in my life, but they are also the best years in my life because I have tasted the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Thank you for walking with us through this valley - your prayers, your presents and your presence enable us to walk through........ very soon, we'll see the mountain together!
david
